Friday, May 19, 2006
; strike one
i should thank him for doing this to me. and thank myself for not picking up his call on tt day, as well as the way i mistreated him so badly in the past. lol.
i never knew what i was missing until today.
when i heard what my mom said t me, another girl, i gave it all up. all away. we've discussed this issue before. if there ever was a third party, it's byebyebye. i texted him for the last time, the last goodbye, and i went on
the perfect first date.
perfect, because of the mutual chemistry and attraction. mutual is important here.
with the ex, it was either him loving me too much, and me not reciprocating, then the other way round. now it's fair, square, equal. sweet(:
the poor guy actually wanted t go t ikoi sushi, but it was full and he felt so guilty so yes, we walked over to the riverside hotel and had another sushi buffet as well! he spent 100+ :x
i feel so relaxed with him. i'm not a material girl but yeh, it strains ties to know tt you have to worry about your guy's budget all the time. whether he can afford this, pushing money for movie tickets and stuff. so taxing -_-
i remember i didn't want a relationship in the first place. i wouldn't mind him being my boyfriend when we were hanging together, and when we're not, hey imma free girl! it's my life, i do what i like. but he ngehsi. lol. and in the end, i couldn't let go. a mistake, but now i see it so clearly. the feeling of being with someone, no strings attached, commitment free is so beautiful. so happy.
nestling in his chest, overpowered by the allure of the aftersmell of cigarette smoke and ralph lauren, blue.
cherished, protected, wanted.
the first kiss after sucha long time, tender and sweet, yet fierce, passionate and oh so yummy.
r: "eh i remember those lips. only there's metal now ;p"
j: "hey i remember those kisses. only it wasn't so wet then."
LOL.
lying in his bed, watching him smoking while using the comp, i felt a twinge of guilt. guilt at the familiarity of it all, at the thought of a particular ex boyfriend.
but then i think to myself. he's out having fun, dating another girl, and feeling not guilty at all. i'm a free girl! i wanted t give him the best he ever had but this was his choice, and i've done everything i could t salvage the relationship so yeah, it's time to move on. but yeah, nobody can love you like i did. just think about it (: don't think of what i've said. think of what i've done. (:
r + j.
i remember how i laughed about it years ago.
romeo and juliet. r______ & jovina.
oh yeh cookie you promised me a helmet yes? i want a dark purple full face with rhinestones and my name engraved! ahahaha.
today was pretty, pretty, almost disney (:
posted by joviee @ 11:37:00 PM