Thursday, May 18, 2006
meow. the math paper was alright. didn't have the stamina for it though, times when i felt like throwing the pen down and handing the paper in.
the body's taking it more badly than i am. lol. vomitting and couldn't take any breakfast. ah well, not necessary a bad thing. purge all the toxins out! i can't wait t weigh myself on the scales. and everyone's asking me "OMG WHY ARE YOU SO WHITE?!" like !@#$%!@#$%? i don't wear make up to school. lol. i think i'm getting paler. at least tt's what my mom says. which is okay since i've always like the lily white look anyway.
i couldn't help a few bitter streaks of tears last night before i fell asleep la. i'm only human yeah and maybe i was too tired but i wiped them off (: defiant, proud. i can't believe how low i stooped. i can't believe how i clung. was tt me or a woman possessed? i'm jovina after all, and yeah i havta do you guys proud. i stared at the mirror. lifted chin, stay cool. told myself il be fine, and smiled. oh yeah baby lol. daniel's fave line. I MISS TT SILLY BOY MAN. rabah! ahahaha.
keith's right. i shoulda listened to him, shouldn't have insisted stuff and all like. he never cheated on me. yada yada. it's a sooner or later thing he told me. do you honestly think he'll turn away if a girl, jus moderate, she doesn't even need to be very attrative throws herself at him? lol. but i was cocky yeah. i refused t listen, and hell i got myself burnt.
but at least i found out. better sooner than later. i feel nothing but antipathy towards him now. no love, no hope, no wishing tt he'll do well. no hatred, no jealousy, no digust. a little painful i don't deny, the phrase they are made for each other comes to mind every so often and it burns the soul. but its okay. lol. they can go on bouncing all they like. nonchalant. immune. its like whatever he does wouldnt affect me anymore. i mean, how low can a person get? what's the worst situation i can be in when i wasn't over him? it was him moving on with somebody new. yep tts all. and now he has. lol. life will get better. cos it can get no lower. and yeah, if he can move on so quickly, he probably isn't worth my affection after all. ahaha yes the textbook statement but its kinda true yeah.
stupid andi jus bounced onto his girlfriend. koreans are so cute. ahaha. tt freaky ryan is staring again. annoying. he stares at everyone yeah but i will never forgive him for trying to cheat my valentine's last yr. teehee lucky i wasn't stupid, spent it with lei at m hotel i think.
waiting for my history paper now. gonna go watch oxygen play table tennis. lol. meow and have a good day peeps.
posted by joviee @ 10:05:00 AM