Monday, May 08, 2006
May, 08 2006
talking t angie online after so long.. miss my darling man. sigh.
she's in the exact same boat. after hy broke up with her, he wouldn't reply her msges and i think he blocked her as well. she told me he spent all his money on her, make her feel secure and happy.. and got jealous way too easily. sounds familiar? she said maybe she didn't treasure him enough.. and now she's waiting for him even though she knows nothing will come out of it. it's been 2 months since her breakup alr.
asked her how she dealt with it. k. sigh. if it was me of two years back.. definitely. but i've laid off drugs now. and i know if i ever touch them.. sam will never ever want me back. maybe he won't care la but. it's just what i think. she said she textd him before tt, he didn't reply so smack smack smack. jus like i call him, no reply, drink drink drink. lol.
she thought i was the one who dumped him. lol. tt's what everyone thinks.
she told me something tt really suprised me though. "do you know he cried for you?" i mean sure yes i knew of some instances but ??? how would you know. she said once at ktv with arvyn vic and joseph he was there, he looked really sad and when she sang lian ai ping lu, he started t cry! i was like WTF.. i remembered us quarreling over this, i didn't want him drinking with girls around but i didn't remember him being sad or anything.
perhaps i never really knew his pain. how he felt when i still felt for daniel, still thought of daniel and even h when i was with him. when i asked for breakups so easily and cooly. all those times he wrote in his phone's notepad. all those times i shunned his touch. the time he asked me all sadly don't i deserve to be loved and pampered by you? i must have really hurt him badly. i remember how he went all over t get my kinder suprise.. woke up specially in the mornings to fetch me from school when i can jus make my way over myself. how he prepared my burgers for me.
thinking of all this, i feel like i deserve what i'm going through now. i wish he'll give me a chance to make it up to him. i'll give you all the love you deserve. if he wouldn't give me the chance.. well chances are created by man. i'll jus have to create my own. and if it still doesn't work.. please just let me do little things for you. little gestures of sweetness, of love, because it makes me happy.. if you hate them just put them into the box. jus don't throw it away..
please stop blocking me.. ni neng bu neng bu guan guo de hao bu hao, bu yao gu yi duo kai bu rang wo zhi dao..?
i jus want you to be happy.. xi wang ni guo de hao..
posted by joviee @ 6:48:00 PM